Category Archives: Politics

Obama Administration to Announce European Missile Defense Plan

“WASHINGTON – The Obama administration appears likely to adopt a compromise European missile defense plan that shelves many of the components that have been a major irritant in relations with Russia, with an announcement expected Thursday.”

Predicted conservative backlash commentary:

“COMMUNISTS!”

“Obama is endangering the ‘Murcan people by talking to Russia.”

“America’s gettin’ to be more like communism every day, ya heard?”

“Why are we trying to negotiate with Europe anyway? They’re all terr’ists.”

“COMMUNISTS!”

“Nuke’em.”

“COMMUNISTS!”

“WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!”

“Them communists are gonna come over here with them bombs; it don’t matter if they get the lazy Euros, but trying to be friendly with RUSSIA? Just proves that the health plan is socialist.”

“WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE BECAUSE OF COMMUNISTS!”

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Filed under Politics, U.S. Politics

Reasons I Wish I Still Lived in D.C.: The 9/12 Rally

On Saturday, tens of thousands of conservative voters marched on Washington, D.C., to protest the Obama administration’s reckless spending (or merely suggested reckless spending) on such traditionally un-American issues as: universal health care; taxing the rich to give to the poor; taking bonuses from Corporate America’s CEO’s; communicating civilly with governments of Muslim-majority countries; and the presence of black people in the White House.

The protests were headed by several conservative groups, including FreedomWorks and the Tea Party Patriots, the latter of whom were responsible for Teabagging America ’09:

Here are some gems from among the quotes. I don’t generally read the Daily News, but some of these were too awesome to pass up:

“You want socialism? Go to Russia!” — Susan Clark, D.C., The Washington Post

This might have been effective if she said “communism,” and if this march happened before 1991.

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“We want our country to go back to the roots of doing what our Founding Fathers wanted us to do — less government in every aspect of my life. We walked the streets of Williamsburg, and it felt like we were learning how to be a patriot.” — Debbie Wilson, Apollo Beach, Fla., The Washington Post

Patriotism = using outhouses, wearing bonnets and churning your own butter.

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“I’m outraged prominent black politicians use the race card [to cover up their failed policies].” — Deneen Borelli, New York, N.Y. Times

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With regard to Obama and healthcare: “It’s not that he’s evil, but the outcome will be.” — Suzanne Mullen, Fayetteville, N.C., N.Y. Daily News

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“Health care is not listed anywhere in the Constitution.” — Brian Burnell, 45, M.D., The Washington Post

But multi-million dollar Wall Street bonuses totally are.

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“What he’s doing to the budget, and taking over health care, is only a part of it. He’s bankrupting us. He’s not protecting us. He’s apologizing to Europe and the terrorists.” — Richie Mitzner, Fort Lee, N.J., N.Y. Daily News

Yes, trying to negotiate peacefully with Iran — as opposed to nuking them before they nuke us — is a TERRIBLE plan.

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“We’ve got a deficit so large, my grandkids won’t be able to pay it off.” — Pete Jones, New Hartford, C.T., N.Y. Daily News.

OK, so are you saying that Wall Street wouldn’t have exploded last year (WHILE Bush was still in office) if Obama hadn’t won the election? Would it be alright for your grandkids to be in debt if all the proposed health care money were going toward the defense bill?

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And don’t forget all the fabulous visual documentation of the event:

Move over, White House czars! The Boob Czarina is totally more informed and better at leading the country than you are.

Move over, White House czars! The Boob Czarina is totally more informed and better at leading the country than you are.

A future death panel victim makes his way toward the Freedom Mobile.

A future death panel victim makes his way toward the Freedom Mobile.

The next "Vogue" cover model

The next "Vogue" cover model

Uh. What?

Uh. What?

This young racist has something to say.

This young racist has something to say.

You mean about how Obama wants to institute universal healthcare as a means of effecting reparations for slavery? Totally.

You mean about how Obama wants to institute universal health care as a means of effecting reparations for slavery? Totally.

There are no words...

There are no words...

Augustus Gloop and friends

Augustus Gloop and friends

Only a conservative can be this egregiously racist.

Only a conservative can be this egregiously racist.

And be sure to check out The 10 Best Signs from the “March on Washington”, which includes “Most Racist,” “Cutest,” and “Most Ironic Acronym.” Priceless.

EDIT: I just realized I’ve forgotten to thank the photographers who so kindly posted distributable photos on Creative Commons. Thanks to: KCIvey and Andrew Aliferis

EDIT: I just realized I’ve forgotten to thank the photographers who so kindly bore witness to the event and posted re-postable pictures on Flickr. Thanks to: KCIvey; Andrew Aliferis

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Filed under Politics, U.S. Politics, Weird America

Turkey, Armenia and Football Diplomacy

Last September, Turkish President Abdullah Gül traveled to Yerevan to attend a World Cup qualifying match between Armenia and Turkey. This October, Armenian President Serzh Sarkisian is expected to attend another Armenia-Turkey match in Istanbul — as long as Ankara makes moves to open the Turkish-Armenian border. And thus, amidst a flurry of criticisms, doubts and speculations, football diplomacy between the two countries has taken hold.

Gül’s trip drew heavy criticism from both Turks and Armenians — many Turks (and particularly Turkish nationalists) claimed the visit showed a sign of weakness on Turkey’s part and would hurt Turkey’s image; some Armenians claimed that the visit was simply a reaction to the Russian invasion of South Ossetia — that the Turks felt they needed to exercise more power in the region to fight off a Russian threat.

Indeed, Gül’s daytrip to Yerevan marked the first visit of a Turkish leader to Armenia in the entire history of the two nations.  The Republic of Turkey has been around since 1922; the Democratic Republic of Armenia was founded in 1918, though was taken over by the Communist Party in 1920, was swept into the Soviet Union in 1922 and finally gained independence in 1991 after the USSR’s collapse. Of course, the real trouble began before either country even existed — Armenians were always viewed as second-class citizens in the Ottoman Empire, and things got really nasty when  more than 1 million Armenians were killed under Ottoman Turkish rule between 1915 and 1918. Since then, the question of whether the mass killing of Armenians should be declared a “genocide” has been cause for the complete lack of diplomatic ties between Turkey and Armenia.  The “genocide” issue has also been a topic of international debate and even caused a rift between the U.S. and Turkish governments in 2007, when a bill proposing official use of the term “genocide” came to the U.S. House floor.

So. Now what? Today, both governments announced that they would officially establish diplomatic ties, meaning that leaders of both countries will meet and discuss their “issues”– sans football and with the help of Swiss mediators. As far as any of us can tell, the most pressing issues are:

1.The aforementioned “genocide” snafu

2. The Nagorno-Karabakh dispute (In short: the Armenian majority in the Nagorno-Karabakh region of Azerbaijan wants to secede and join with Armenia; the Azerbaijanis don’t especially like this, considering that Nargorno-Karabakh is officially considered part of Azerbaijan, though the Soviets declared it an “Autonomous Region” in the 1920’s due to its 90+% Armenian majority. Turkey has sided with Azerbaijan on this issue and closed its borders with Armenia in 1993 as a result of the dispute.)

3. The opening of the Turkish-Armenian border.

I predict that the issues will be addressed in this order: 3, 2, 1. I don’t really want to go into my own thoughts on Issue 1, as I’d prefer not to be attacked by The Internet; with regards to Issue 2, I’m not especially knowledgeable, but there’s certainly no way of getting it figured out any time soon — or at all — and I think it should actually be avoided for the time being in favor of Issue 3. Getting the Azerbaijani government and Nagorno-Karabakh separatist representatives involved will only greatly complicate the Turkish-Armenian issues. What Turkey and Armenia really need is some relationship counseling under supervision of Swiss therapists, followed by alone time — candlelit dinners, long walks on the border, that sort of thing.

At any rate, the fate of President Sarkisian’s intended visit to Istanbul to watch the October 14th match rests firmly on the progress of Issue 3. Will these border-opening moves be made? Will Sarkisian be allowed to sit in the Armenian fan section, or will ne need to sit with the Turkish leaders to conform to diplomatic etiquette? For that matter, IS there even an Armenian fan section in Turkish football stadiums? And most importantly — who will win and will the results affect non-football diplomacy?

yerevanmatch

P.M. Erdogan: You're going to the match in Yerevan, OK?/Gül: Well, I don't know, Tayyip. Would that really be right?

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Filed under International Politics, Politics

Where in the world is Vladimir Putin…’s shirt?

The Russian president-turned-prime minister really doesn’t like covering his upper body. Vladimir Putin has been pushing his manliness upon the Russian people for years by starring in instructional judo videos and baring his bulging pecs every time he goes fishing. But a few weeks ago, he took it to the next level by posing for a series of outdoorsy, athletic photos and proving that there is indeed a direct correlation between shirtlessness and manliness.

The UK’s Daily Telegraph probably covered it best in an article titled “Vladimir Putin in more ‘action man’ photographs.” The article comes complete with video footage of Putin engaging in such action-packed and manly activities as: swimming (shirtless!)…

Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin swims in the Black Sea while installing gasline piping in Turkish waters

The butterfly stroke or synchronized swimming?

…riding a horse (shirtless!)…

Pasty and pectacular!

Pasty and pectacular!

…fishing (shirtless!)…

putin-fishing

…and dining with what looks to be a Siberian peasant woman. (Both are fully clothed, for some reason.) Sorry, I’ve not got a picture of that last one.

Will Vlad pass his athleticism and dislike of shirts on to other world leaders? Well, it seems that Sarkozy’s already been there, done that, and has even gone so far as to have his love handles airbrushed away; Obama’s gone that route and managed to create a pre-election stir; and the American first lady is already having issues with baring even her lower thighs — a bikini top, let alone shirtlessness, would most likely be met with disapproval. So who’s next? Kim Jong-Il? Fidel? Al-Qadhafi? According to The Economist (August 15th-21st issue), it might just be Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan:

“Mr. Putin and Mr. Erdogan get on well. Both are macho, sporty and prone to authoritarian instincts.” (p. 48)

And soon, if we’re lucky, they might both be shirtless.

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Filed under International Politics, Politics